Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm getting older, too.

I'm nearing my 24th birthday at a speed that sometimes makes me happy but mostly just makes me want to go away and hide. I know that it's not a big deal ... I mean, I have my whole life ahead of me and it's not like when you turn 24 you're suddenly old and feeble. The reason that it makes me upset is that fact that it's here and it seems like it got here a lot faster than it should.

The reason I bring this up is due to a conversation that I had with Rose the BFF the other day. We have decided to run a half marathon during the San Fransisco Marathon on July 26, 2009 (awesome, right?!) and we also have decided that we are going to run the Disney full marathon in 2010 in January on a date that I am not sure of right now. This way I have plenty of time to train and learn how to be a runner and not die after running 6 miles ... like I normally do. But I digress. The conversation in question went like this (edited for content and length):

me: So we do the half in SF and then the whole Disney?
BFF: yup, in jan of 2010.
me: sweet ... that'll be perfect
BFF: and then we can start having babies.
me: great, and our flat stomachs can go the way of the dinosaurs.
*moment of realization*
me: oh my god, we really are going to start having babies.

And it's true. We both are nearing our mid 20's and we both are in steady, serious relationships. In fact, some of our friends who are already married (ah!) are pregnant with baby #1! BFF has a friend from her home town that is already on baby #2 that was planned. PLANNED! They planned on having a second child ... they aren't even 25 yet. Holy crap.

The thing that is really freaking me out is that I feel like I've waited my whole life to get to this point. The point when I was out of school, working at a big girl job, dating a guy that I love and who loves me back (I am 99.9% sure that this statement is true, BTW), and getting to the point where I'll be getting engaged, possibly married and maybe even one day choose to have some wee ones. I mean ... come on! It just blows my mind and I feel like I'm so in shock about it that I can't even process what's happening.

I am a grown up person.

I am! But the problem is that I still feel like I did in college (this could have something to do with the fact that I still babysit like a crazy person, live with my parents, and get paid a miserably small hourly wage). If you are a younger person reading this (HA! No one reads this ... who am I kidding?) and you just don't get what I'm talking about ... let me give you an example of what it feels like.

Boyfriend's mom: So, when's the anniversary?
me: It was October 8th actually.
Boyfriend's mom: And how long has it been?
me: Two years.
Boyfriend's mom: Does that include the time that you dated before you got back together?
me: Nope. We dated for 9 months the first time so if you counted that it would be closer to 3 years.
Boyfriend's mom: Wow ...
me: Geez, it's been two years. It feels like we only got back together like ... a couple weeks ago or something ...
*head explodes*

When you start thinking that things that really happened 2-3 years ago only happened like, last month, you're old. Believe me, the first time this happens to you, you will remember it. And then you'll tell your friend about it and they will know exactly what you're talking about ... and then you'll cry because right when you stop wishing that you were older and start enjoying the place you are in life is the time when you get what you've been wishing for and you keep getting older. And it doesn't stop for a loooooooooong time.

*head explodes*

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