Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Job Interview ...

Well, Boyfriend has a big job interview today in Florida. He flew down there yesterday and he comes back tomorrow. The whole thing makes me feel funny. I'm scared and excited all at the same time.

I'm scared because if he moves away and I don't move down there with him right away, which is probably what will end up happening, what will happen to us? And while I would like to think that he has changed I'm afraid of having a repeat of what happened in Texas. I'm scared of him meeting someone.

I'm excited because he's going out into the world and trying to get a good job in a new place, something that I hope I can do in the next few years. I'm excited because if he gets it he'll live in a neat place and I will get to go visit him every few months.

It's an odd emotional mix and I'm having trouble figuring out exactly how I feel about the whole thing. I don't want him to not get the job because I was thinking negative thoughts or because I prayed that he wouldn't (I haven't done any of these things) and so I keep just hoping that what's supposed to happen will happen and I hope that what I want to happen happens. So, you might ask, what do I want to have happen? I want him to do what's right for him, but I want us to stay together and be happy.

Fingers crossed.

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