Monday, May 4, 2009

This is a pretty Lame Post

(I use a lot of quotation marks in this post and I'm sorry but I felt it was necessary. Just imagine Dr. Evil doing it and then it will be less annoying than it would have been otherwise. At least, I thought it was funny. But that could be because I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and have only had one cup of coffee so far this morning. Now to the post!)

This weekend I discovered something about myself. I like refer to it as the "lameness quotient". This is how it works:
  • Every year you get older you get a little more "lameness" added to your "lameness quotient"
  • The "lameness" makes you tired, antisocial, and (obviously) lame.
  • The "lameness" continues to build until you're 80 and then all you do is sit around on your front porch yelling at the neighbor kids to get off your lawn.
Why do I bring this up? Well, the last few weeks I feel like my "lameness quotient" has skyrocketed. How do I know that it has increased? For starters I can't remember what I did on Friday night, which means that it had to have been a super lame night.

(Oh, I just remembered what we did and it was not a super lame night, actually. I guess that "lameness quotient" increases at a direct rate with "forgetfulness". BOO.)

Saturday night Armini and I went to see The Killers, one of my favorite bands in life. We were both dragging ass on the way there, perked up for the concert thanks to the beer we drank, and then dragged our sorry butts to the bar next to our apartment in an attempt to re-create the social life that we had before we made the terrible decision to graduate.

And do you know what we talked about? We talked about why we were so tired and about death and other equally depressing things. Hello ... LAME!

Plus, we went by ourselves which is an indicator of how many friends we have in the area. I don't know if I would count that as a "lameness quotient" indicator really however, because Arimini works nights and I work days which makes it hard for me to hang out with the friends that he has made at work; and while I love the people that I work with most of the them have kids and spouses and other lame things that they feel like they have to go home and take care of instead of coming out and getting wasted with me on Thursdays.

Sunday, we slept until noon. Got out of bed long enough to go to the dog park for a bit, had some dinner with his folks and then laid around the apartment talking about how we were both SO TIRED and then we watched Changling. Another indicator of an increase in my "lameness quotient" is that I can't watch movies where they hurt little kids without bawling uncontrollably for about 30 minutes after the fact.

I don't know that I am ready to deal with this level of "lameness" at this point in my life (for Pete's sake, I'm not even 25!!). I have to find a way to combat my steadily increasing "lameness quotient", and fast. If I have one more conversation with Armini about how we are SO TIRED (for reals, we had no fewer than 12 conversations this weekend about how we were tired), I am going to find a bridge and throw myself off of it. At least then I won't be sleepy anymore, right?

Anyway, I want some suggestions. How would you try to lower your "lameness quotient" after a weekend like this? As incentive for giving me suggestions, I will write one post a week (with pictures!) of me doing whatever you suggest - within reason. I'm not going out and getting a job a strip club, people. This is a PG-13 blog.

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