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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I'm in a Dip (I wish it was french onion)

"I think there’s a dip in life—a big dip, the king-daddy of all dips. If you were looking at it from a Hegelian perspective, it would be the antithesis phase, where every last bit of every idea put forth in the thesis phase got challenged. What I like to call the Sucks Ass phase. Because here you are, happy and carefree and connected, when all of a sudden—and generally, for a long, long time—things start seriously sucking out of nowhere, and everything you thought was true and possible becomes unclear and maddeningly out of reach."
- Colleen Wainwright, the Communicatrix

This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately for a number of reasons.
  1. My mother is convinced that the best thing (the end all, be all best thing ever) would be for me to go to grad school. To the point that she has started researching schools, application processes and emailing the information to me.
  2. I envy the enthusiasm my mother has for me going to grad school. I, however, remain unconvinced.
  3. Getting a job - like, a big girl job (with a 401K and benefits) - seems like it isn't going to happen for years (mainly because to get a psych job you have to have an advanced degree - see item 1 and 2).
  4. That whole, "life is fine and then starts sucking out of no where" thing. Welcome to my life.

I would like to think that taking a moment to appreciate the dip I have found myself in would help me create the momentum I need to get up and out of it. However, I still feel like the 'get up and out of it is "maddeningly out of reach".

Yes I know this is part of being a young person who is struggling to find their place in the world. I just wish that I had an idea of what I want to do, to be doing, 10 years from now. And I don't. Not even close. Which may be why I keep waffling on idea of grad school. Is it a good idea? Yes. Will I end up there eventually? More than likely.

I suppose the best thing for me to do right now is wait and see what happens with Children's Mercy. I can't think of anything better to do right now.

2 comments:

Full of Heart said...

Sometimes hanging out in the dip for a bit is all you need...

perfectlycursedlife said...

I'm in the dip, too. I wish I could offer you advice, but I can't. I'm just sitting around waiting for time to pass...because I have to.