GiST 14/365

1. Chicken to eat

2. Internet to surf

3. Boyfriends to annoy

4. Dogs to snuggle

5. Knowing in your heart of hearts that everything really, really, really is going to end well


Visit Grace in Small Things

(and just so you know, I haven't died or locked myself in my bedroom {even though sometimes I think doing that would fix a lot of things}, there are posts coming ... promise!)

I'm Trying So Hard ...

These past few months have been really hard for me. And overall, I think that I have handled them as well as anyone could be expected too.

But as a direct result of all the craziness, I feel like I have more or less lost control of my life.

I know that this will pass and I'm not sitting around wallowing in self pity (which is good because I know that I could, very easily, do just that). I am trying to be pro-active about regaining that sense of control. But how, exactly, does one get control of life when really (when you think about it) no one can ever control life. Or other people. Or anything (really).

And when I think about it, being able to control any of that stuff would be an awesome (and not in the "totally cool" way either; more in the awe inspiring way) responsibility that I do not want.

I don't want everything to go my way all the time. In fact, I think that would be pretty boring. You know ... I want to be surprised.

I also happen to know, for a fact, that there are several times in my life where, had things gone the way I had planned them to go, I would have missed out on some of the best things in my life currently:

• If I had gotten my first choice in dorms my freshman year, I wouldn't have met JS who lived next door. We probably wouldn't have lived together the next year at Sigma Kappa and if that hadn't happened, I would have never met Armini.
• If the Lawrence Humane society had updated their Pet Finder page regularly, I never would have called to see about the standard poodle and I would have never met Tim.
• If Armini and I never fought (and really, don't all girls imagine having a relationship where they never yell at their significant other?) then I wouldn't have met Bing either.
  

I know that there are other wonder and delightful things in my life that came from things that went wrong, but I can't think of anymore.

But the point is this: Good comes from bad. Every winter everything dies and then every spring it all comes back to life. It's a circle right?

(Sometimes the best way to express yourself is through cartoon movie references, you know?)

Anyway. I'm sure that everyone feels like this at one point or another. I actually had a conversation with one of my co-workers this morning about how she feels like her life has been a little off kilter ever since her son was born (and it's not because she had a baby - just all the craziness that life has thrown at her and her family since then). It's conversations like that one that give me the courage to step up and try to get a foot hold in my life, even if it is speeding down the track completely out of control (something akin to this, only minus the flying off the track in a fireball at the end).

(I hope)

So, what do you have now that you wouldn't have had if everything had gone according to plan?

GiST 13/365

1. Knowing that no one will judge me for only being on my 13th GiST when I've been doing it for about 3 months.

2. Having conversations with Armini that are deep (even if they end in tears)

3. Soft pillows

4. Snugly puppies

5. New car (soon)


Visit Grace in Small Things

Dear John ... I mean, Mexican Food

Dear Mexican food,

I have been meaning to talk to you about this for a while. I mean, you have to admit our relationship has been a little rocky the last few months. I thought we were getting along great. I was trying to branch out and try new things, you know, get to know you a little better.

But now this? I thought we were friends. I thought that our relationship might be going places . Come on, half of your food is served smothered in cheese and I LOVE cheese. I just don't understand why you had to start being so mean.

So, I guess what I'm really trying to say Mexican food is that I think it's time for us to go our separate ways. Clearly you don't seem to like me much anymore so ... I think it's time that we both go find people that we enjoy spending more time with. Although I'll be honest, I'm going to miss your cheesy delightfulness.

Yours,
SuperCareo

This is a pretty Lame Post

(I use a lot of quotation marks in this post and I'm sorry but I felt it was necessary. Just imagine Dr. Evil doing it and then it will be less annoying than it would have been otherwise. At least, I thought it was funny. But that could be because I only got 4 hours of sleep last night and have only had one cup of coffee so far this morning. Now to the post!)

This weekend I discovered something about myself. I like refer to it as the "lameness quotient". This is how it works:

• Every year you get older you get a little more "lameness" added to your "lameness quotient"
• The "lameness" makes you tired, antisocial, and (obviously) lame.
  
• The "lameness" continues to build until you're 80 and then all you do is sit around on your front porch yelling at the neighbor kids to get off your lawn.

Why do I bring this up? Well, the last few weeks I feel like my "lameness quotient" has skyrocketed. How do I know that it has increased? For starters I can't remember what I did on Friday night, which means that it had to have been a super lame night.

(Oh, I just remembered what we did and it was not a super lame night, actually. I guess that "lameness quotient" increases at a direct rate with "forgetfulness". BOO.)

Saturday night Armini and I went to see The Killers, one of my favorite bands in life. We were both dragging ass on the way there, perked up for the concert thanks to the beer we drank, and then dragged our sorry butts to the bar next to our apartment in an attempt to re-create the social life that we had before we made the terrible decision to graduate.

And do you know what we talked about? We talked about why we were so tired and about death and other equally depressing things. Hello ... LAME!

Plus, we went by ourselves which is an indicator of how many friends we have in the area. I don't know if I would count that as a "lameness quotient" indicator really however, because Arimini works nights and I work days which makes it hard for me to hang out with the friends that he has made at work; and while I love the people that I work with most of the them have kids and spouses and other lame things that they feel like they have to go home and take care of instead of coming out and getting wasted with me on Thursdays.

Sunday, we slept until noon. Got out of bed long enough to go to the dog park for a bit, had some dinner with his folks and then laid around the apartment talking about how we were both SO TIRED and then we watched Changling. Another indicator of an increase in my "lameness quotient" is that I can't watch movies where they hurt little kids without bawling uncontrollably for about 30 minutes after the fact.

I don't know that I am ready to deal with this level of "lameness" at this point in my life (for Pete's sake, I'm not even 25!!). I have to find a way to combat my steadily increasing "lameness quotient", and fast. If I have one more conversation with Armini about how we are SO TIRED (for reals, we had no fewer than 12 conversations this weekend about how we were tired), I am going to find a bridge and throw myself off of it. At least then I won't be sleepy anymore, right?

Anyway, I want some suggestions. How would you try to lower your "lameness quotient" after a weekend like this? As incentive for giving me suggestions, I will write one post a week (with pictures!) of me doing whatever you suggest - within reason. I'm not going out and getting a job a strip club, people. This is a PG-13 blog.